Family Newz (by Hannah)

The summit on Trail Ridge Road in Rocky Mountain National Park

This is a periodical news update published by me, Hannah. If you find my parents' newsletters to be too long and boring, then come to my page and get the real scoop. I am the one creating and maintaining this page.

These articles were originally created only for my family, but now that we have a website I will post them for everyone to see. For now I am only adding the most recent edition, but will add the old editions eventually.

September 13, 2009

Household Newz

Caleb is finally learning to talk! He can now say down, sorry, please, stay, and count to ten somewhat clearly. But his favorite and most easily understood words are no, I, me, and mine. Go figure, considering that one of his nicknames from birth is Mr. President!

Recently the Black family had the opportunity to try an unknown dish. Dad attempted to make his own baked beans from scratch using pinto beans bought at a local market. The sauce was delicious, but everyone was puzzled as to why the beans weren’t expanding. Until, that is, dinnertime. Jillian, ever the frank one and always the first to solve a puzzle, said with calm assurance, “They’re peanuts.” She was correct. After a good laugh, the meal was promptly named baked peanuts. It was actually okay, though baked peanuts will not be made again for a while in the Black household. As Elijah stated with an air of importance, “If you want to buy beans to eat them, you shouldn’t buy peanuts!”

Poetry

To Miss Claudia

My amazing ballet teacher on Long Island. Much of what I know about ballet I learned from you. This poem is in memory of the first Christmas that I was in your class.

I forgot to buy a gift for you,

And did not make a card,

So all I had to offer you

Was “Merry Christmas”

From my heart.

I miss you now and always will;

Every day I think of you.

I hope I’ll see you on earth again;

If not, that we’ll meet in Heaven.

H. R. B.

Riddles ‘N’ Jokes

Riddle – What kind of money do marsupials use?

Answer – Pocket change

Joke – A little boy was praying at bedtime.

“I can’t hear you,” his mother whispered.

“I’m not talking to you,” he whispered back.

I'm at my school desk checking my lesson plans for the previous week.

August 30, 2009

Household Newz

The Black family thoroughly enjoyed their furlough in the States. While they were visiting friends and family, speaking at churches, shopping for the next two years, or simply having fun by themselves, four months slipped by almost unnoticed.

But at the end of that time, the whole family was ready to go back to Nigeria. They spent the first three weeks in Aba unpacking and re-adjusting.

There has been a new addition to the family: black lab Smudge, who is about four months old. His obedience is improving rapidly, and he is almost completely house-trained.

School started last Monday, much to the relief of Hannah, who was itching to begin reading the history books on the shelf above her own schoolwork. Emily is very excited over the fact that she has her own school list this year, in third grade. Jillian was eager to begin, but she was somewhat reluctant to give up the hours of free time she had before school started. Elijah would ask every day, “Are we starting school today?” Somehow, everyone, including Mom, survived the week.

Poetry

My Bible

My Bible is my map

To get to Heaven’s day;

My Bible is my lamp,

To see through darkness grim.

My Bible is my trusty guide

To show me the right way;

My Bible is my sword

So I can fight my way through sin.

I’ll trust my Bible all the way,

Lest I go astray;

Lest I fall into sin once again,

And follow my own way.

By H. R.B.

Riddles ’N’ Jokes

Riddle – Why did the farmer receive an award?

He was outstanding in his field.

Joke - Mother: Kids, what are you arguing about?

David: Oh, there isn’t any argument. Lisa thinks I’m not going to give her half of my candy, and I think the same thing.

May 10, 2009

Household Newz

The Black family is having a great time in the States. It is fun being able to see friends and family, though it can be a bit stressful at times because of so many people to see, things to do, and places to go. In fact, the family is preparing for a long itinerating trip throughout the States. They look forward to seeing friends and family farther west.

Poetry

The Clothesline

On rainy days,

When skies are gray,

The clothesline looks so sad.

Hanging limply, forlornly, empty,

Slowly dripping raindrops,

It mirrors gloomy faces

Watching from the window.

But on sunny days,

When weather’s gay,

When it cheerfully flaps shirts pinned to it,

When it gazes on children

Happily playing ball -

Then the clothesline’s purpose is fulfilled.

Riddles ‘N’ Jokes

Riddle – How do you keep a fish from smelling?

You cut off its nose.

Joke – Ray: How did your bird die?

John: Flu

Ray: Don’t be silly, birds don’t die from the flu.

John: Mine did. He flew under a bus.

March 8, 2009

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

The Black family had a fun shopping trip recently. Imagine that! They went shopping in Nigeria and had fun! But it wasn’t for milk, flour or sugar that they were looking. It was for gifts and souvenirs at Ikot-ekpene, not far from Aba. Dad bought a chess set, and couldn’t decide whether to keep it, give the whole thing as a gift, or give the individual pieces. As it turns out, some huge termites found and ate the chessboard. The damage was irreparable. Those were some hungry termites!

POETRY

The Rainbow

Imagining is seeing a rainbow

Arched across the turquoise sky,

Among little tufts of cotton clouds,

Until the shower ends,

And you’re back to real life again.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: How did you pass the entrance exam for the candy-making school?

Answer: It was simple. I fudged it.

Joke: How is business?

Tailor: Oh, it’s so-so.

Electrician: It’s fairly light.

Author: All right.

Farmer: It’s growing.

Astronomer: Looking up!

Elevator Operator: Well, it has its ups and downs.

Trash collector: It’s picking up.

February 22, 2009

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

The Black family is doing well. Everyone was looking forward to Obubu Ranch, a game reserve in the north. However, now that they have found out the prices, they are considering not going. But they still might find a cheaper place to stay for the weekend.

Coming home from the swimming pool one day, the Black family passed an unusual sight (for them) – a dead person lying by the side of the road. Sadly, nobody else seemed to notice.

POETRY

Thunderstorm

The lightning flashes,

Searching, searching, seeking something lost.

The thunder smashes,

Crashes, crashes, protecting the treasure lost.

And the rain splashes,

Slashes, slashes, coveting the treasure lost.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: What is a shark’s favorite game?

Answer: Swallow the leader.

Joke: A criminal said to a judge, “Your Honor, I’m not guilty. I know I can prove it if you just give me some time.”

“Sure,” replied the judge. “Ten years. Next!”

February 8, 2009

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

One Saturday, Mom and Hannah made cinnamon rolls for the first time in Nigeria. Hannah burned her finger while putting them in the oven. She’ll wear oven mitts after this! And the cinnamon rolls were very yummy!

The same day, NEPA (the electric company) came and disconnected the line because the neighbors, the people who share the duplex, hadn’t paid their bill for about three years, perhaps longer. After some bickering they hooked the Black’s line back up again, though.

However, the neighbors still haven’t paid their bill, and now NEPA is threatening to lock the compound up, and they might not be bluffing (this time).

POETRY

Clouds

Cotton-white clouds drift in the sky,

Like little ships, sailing far and high.

Over the treetops,

Under the stars,

Different from all others,

One shines above the rest.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: Why don’t eggs tell jokes?

Answer: They would crack each other up.

January 25, 2009

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

Dad recently put new, thinner mosquito netting on some of the windows. It makes a huge difference with the light and ventilation.

While cutting veggies, Dad cut the tip of his finger off with a Cutco knife. Just the very, very, tip of his left ring finger, a tiny piece of skin and fingernail, but it is definitely gone. He is wondering if, once his finger heals, playing the guitar will be easier or harder.

Elijah has a boil on his chin. At first the family worried that it might be a mango worm. One night Mom and Dad tried to squeeze it out. Elijah was screaming and yelling, and it was so hard to see and hear him. Well, as it turns out, it is a boil, and it’s now going away

POETRY

Success

Success won’t come to me,

Unless I go to it,

For if I just sit,

And twiddle my thumbs,

I’ll get naught,

But poverty.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: How many items can you put into an empty grocery bag?

Answer: One. After that, the bag isn’t empty anymore.

Joke: A note left for a pianist from his wife: Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a minuet.

January 11, 2009

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

Happy New Year from the Blacks! After traveling to Abuja and Gboko, the whole family is happy to be at home again. It is pleasant to get back into the old routine, although it will take a while to become accustomed to school. Hannah especially enjoys making breakfast each morning.

Chidinma, the family’s house help, is now coming five days a week, Monday through Friday. Her help is a big blessing.

POETRY

China

In Hong Kong buy shoes from Dr. Kong’s,

Eat pan-fried noodles and egg drop soup.

Farther north see the Great Wall and Yuyuan Gardens;

The Forbidden City and Temple of Heaven.

Get on a plane for our next adventure;

Perhaps we’ll go to Great Britain!

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: What did baby corn say to mamma corn?

Answer: Where’s Popcorn?

Joke: A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What did Jesus say about people getting married?”

Little Johnny quickly answered, “ Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’”

November 23, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

Caleb has learned a few new things lately. Now he can crawl up and down the stairs, go in and out the front screen door, and walk pretty much anywhere he wants to go. It’s quite a chore to keep Caleb inside when no one can go with him!

POETRY

Squirrels

Squirrels-

Quivering,

Unrelenting,

Inquisitive,

Running,

Rambunctious,

Energetic,

Lively,

Statues.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: How did the scientist invent bug spray?

Answer: She started from scratch.

Joke: An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.

“Doctor, I just can’t get to sleep at night.”

“Have you tried counting sheep?”

“That’s the problem. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”

October 26, 2008

Making Baked Oatmeal using the recipe we got from Mrs. Erdvig

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

October 18th was Jillian’s ninth birthday. The family stayed home and celebrated by making homemade syrup for French toast for breakfast, having Jillian’s choice of a lunch-dinner (chicken salad sandwiches, yum!!), finger painting, and of course presents and cake. The birthday girl also got to send a few e-mails to friends.

One night during dinner NEPA was on (which is almost a notable event in itself) and Mom was almost finished with a load of laundry. However, the laundry remained unfinished, because NEPA suddenly “took the lights.” There was silence for a moment, and then Elijah said what everyone was thinking: “NEPA, you’re bad.” Almost anything Elijah says brings laughter.

POETRY

Leaf

Blown about by the wind

Willingly,

Not caring where it goes;

Lying

Comfortably

Where it lands,

Till the breeze picks it up

Again.

Lord, let me be the Leaf;

May You be the breeze;

Take me where You will,

And may I be happy still.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?

Answer: Big holes all over Australia.

Joke: A nurse on the pediatric ward, before listening to the children’s chests, would fit the stethoscope into their ears and let them listen to their own hearts. Their eyes would always light up with awe.

“Listen,” she said to little four-year-old Seth, “Do you hear it? What do you suppose that is?”

He listened to the strange tap-tap-tapping sound deep in his chest. Then his eyes lit up, and he exclaimed, “Is that Jesus knocking?”

October 5, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

One day, during a spelling quiz, Emily was having difficulty spelling the word running. She would say, “n-u-n-n-i-n-g,” and Dad would say, “No. What letter does running start with?” “N-u-n-n-i-n-g!” the reply would always be.

All the while, Elijah was observing this little scene with great interest. Finally he blurted out the answer: “R! Running starts with R!” Then he turned to Emily, who was laughing along with everyone else, and said, “See, Emily, I’m a good smarter!” This statement was followed by more bouts of laughter.

POETRY

Summer Storm

Pitter, patter,

Split and splatter,

Rain begins to pour

From the sky to earth.

Not to be ignored,

The thunder also roars,

Accompanied by lightening,

Brightening the scene.

-by H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: Which President had the largest shoes?

Answer: The one with the largest feet!

Joke: A group of kindergarteners was on a class outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the ten most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it was really the photo of a wanted person.

“Yes,” answered the policeman.

“Well,” wondered the child, “why didn’t you just keep him when you took the picture?”

September 28, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

September 16 was Caleb’s first birthday. He had a jell-o cake and liked it a lot. Caleb also tasted his first chocolate, M&M’s, soon after. Mom was able to get him to say “please” in sign language very easily!

Elijah learned that sharpening one’s finger in a pencil sharpener is very painful. Don’t think he’ll be doing that again any time soon!

POETRY

The Bible

The Bible is good,

The Bible is true,

And when I have time,

I’ll read some to you.

-by J. M. Black

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Answer: Lost.

Joke: The father’s son was returning from the market with a crate of

chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden, the

box fell and broke open.

Chickens scurried off in all directions, but the boy walked all over

the neighborhood, retrieving the bird and returning them to the

repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned

home.

“Pa, the chickens got loose,” the boy told his father reluctantly,

“but I managed to find all nine of them.”

“You did well, son,” the farmer said, “because you left with only

six.”

September 14, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

The Black Family has been passing around a cough that they think is whooping cough. Dad went to see a doctor about it, since he has it the worst by far. The doctor thinks that it is pneumonia, but Dad is still pretty sure that he has whooping cough, because nothing showed up on the chest x-ray.

One night Mom thought that she heard something in the kitchen, but didn’t go look to see what it was. Then later Dad heard a snap (the mouse trap). In the morning when Hannah checked the mouse trap, she found that it was not a mouse but a – COCKROACH!!!!!! (Cockroaches in Nigeria are much larger than the ones found in the U. S.)

POETRY

Dewdrops

By-H. R. B.

Five crystal dewdrops fall and shine-

One on a wilting Clementine,

One on a blushing Rose full o’ life,

One on a rainbow Poppy bright.

One on an Edelweiss, fresh and sweet,

JOne on the Blossoms of a cherry tree.

They said, “Now this we do not like,

But all the same we can be nice.”

And then the Sun came,

Kissed the dew away,

And the flowers were happy all the day.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: What do math teachers like to eat with their coffee?

Answer: A slice of pi

Joke: A Sunday school class was ready for its question- and –answer session.

“What do we learn from Jonah and the whale?” asked the teacher.

A bright kid spoke up and said, “What we learned is that people make whales sick.”

August 31, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

August 21 was Mom and Dad’s 15th anniversary. They celebrated by going on a date together alone. Hannah stayed home with her siblings.

The Black family now has a new house help again. This one, Chidima, only comes three days a week. She does not live with them.

POETRY

My Grandma June

By H.R.B.

Raising Mom so lovingly-

Baking cookies that were yummy-

Singing always joyously

“The King is coming for me”-

My Grandma June

Her fried chicken was savory-

Her favorite card game was rummy-

Ever welcoming us sweetly-

My Grandma June

Visiting us in New York City-

Seeing Lady Liberty-

Strolling by the beach with me-

My Grandma June

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle- In what key is “Exploring the Cave Without a Flashlight” written?

Answer- C sharp or B flat

Joke- A minister got up on Sunday morning an announced to his congregation, “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.”

8\17\08

HOUSEHOLD NEWS

From July 15- 25, the Black family hosted a short- term missions trip from SGT. Everyone had a good time and learned a lot.

Mom, Hannah, Jillian, and Emily decided to donate hair to Locks of Love. Mom, Jillian, and Emily each cut off 10 inches, and Hannah cut off 15 inches. They plan to keep the hair until they go back to the U.S. for itinerating.

POETRY

What Color is Envy?

Green, I think, is the color of envy

Cause green is the color of mold, you see.

And just as mold covers the walls of dark rooms,

Mold can cover the inside of you.

-By H. R. B.

RIDDLES ‘N’ JOKES

Riddle: What did one horse say to the other horse?

Joke: “Your pace is familiar, but I don’t remember your mane.”

Joke: A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when the officer’s hat blew down the sidewalk.

“Would you like me to get that for you?” asked the prisoner.

“You must think I’m an idiot!” said the officer. “You just wait here, and I’ll get it.”

June 15, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

On June 2nd, the Black family went to see Dr. Whitaker (from England) in a village outside of Aba. While they were on their way, they saw a live pig on the back of a motorcycle! It was hog-tied and lying on its side and a man was riding the motorcycle and holding on to it.

The Blacks had a good time visiting Dr. Whitaker and his and his wife. They also got to meet the Whitaker’s son, who is fifteen.

On Sunday, June 8th, the Blacks celebrated Dad’s birthday (which was actually the 9th) with a breakfast of waffles. They were delicious and were cooked over the stove with a cast iron waffle maker. Tuesday, June 10th, was Hannah’s 13th birthday. Her birthday breakfast was egg toast. Presents were opened in the afternoon, and dinner was chicken fajitas, homemade tortillas, guacamole, and cheese sauce. After dinner, they had banana cake. Finally, to crown the day, the family watched a movie on the wall with the projector. What a birthday!

POETRY

MOTHER

Ever so patient,

Always so kind,

Whom shall I mind?

Mother

Always so sweet;

Loving and caring, too.

Mother

Her love she always did share,

When we are ill she nurses us

With her tender care.

Mother

Who teaches us school,

Constantly gentle and mild?

Mother

In Spring, Summer, Winter, and Fall,

My mother is best of all.

RIDDLES N JOKES

Riddle: Where were the kings and queens of England crowned?

Answer: On their heads.

Joke: A painter was hired to paint the exterior of a church. His practice was to thin the paint so that he could make a larger profit.

As he was painting the church, torrential rain began to fall, and it washed all of the paint off. As quickly as the rain began, it ended, and a voice from above said, “Repaint, and go and thin no more.”

June 1, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWS

Mouse alert!! Yes, the Black family has had two more cases of dead mice (thankfully not rats) in their house in the past week. This time, though, there was no chasing with shoes. They merely spread peanut butter on two mouse traps and placed them in places where they knew the mice and rats liked to go. By the next morning, an unfortunate mouse had fallen for the trap, tried to get the peanut butter, and. . . . you know the rest. A couple of days later, the event was repeated. The Blacks, especially Hannah, prefer this method of dealing with mice.

Another, much less enjoyed incident occurred last Tuesday night. Mom was straightening Caleb’s mosquito net; lifting it up to, well, straighten it. She lifted it up just a little too high, and the edge of the ceiling fan, which was on high, hit the fingers on her left hand. It cut and bruised her fingers, and we think some nerves were cut also.

POETRY

The Sunset

By H. R. B.

Gently the lustrous, imperial sun glides down among the rose-red and lavender streaks that veil the sapphire firmament. Its dazzling golden rays seem like uplifted arms, extolling our Creator. They are also gesticulating adieu to the resilient green grass and velvety, tender roses. The birds chirp a final farewell as the sun slips out of sight, shrouding the earth in obscurity. “Good-bye, sun,” I whisper, “until tomorrow!”

RIDDLES’ N’ JOKES

Riddle: Why do surgeons wear masks while operating?

So that if any mistake is made, no one will know who did it.

Joke: A father was showing pictures of his wedding day to his son. “Is that when

Mommy came to work for us?” the boy asked.

February 17, 2008

HOUSEHOLD NEWZ

We have had an interesting three weeks.

February 2^nd, we went to Ruth and Esther’s birthday party. The party, in the classroom at the school, was very colorful, and, singularly Ibo, loud and vivacious. Rice and soda were served, after several pictures and before cake. After the brown cake, party favors were handed out. Auntie Veronica danced around with a mob of children surrounding her, grabbing for their notebook and pen or pencil. We left after a while because everything was so overwhelming and it didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon.

We got some baking pans, so we made some brownies. They were delicious!!!

One night I got my bath late, and, after mom braided my hair downstairs, I started to go upstairs for bed. Dad was coming down with a sleeping Caleb when we saw something dart from the parlor and under the stairs - rat attack! Not exactly rat attack, human attack I guess, because we waged full war on it then and there, at the bottom of the stairs. I got Mom, and somehow Caleb landed in his bouncy seat (asleep for the moment). Meanwhile, Dad stood guard, keeping the rat cornered. Mom was posted on the stairs with a broom and I, less fortunate, was posted by the doors below also armed with a broom. By the way, we were doing all this by flashlight. Then the action began! Now when I think about it, I feel like laughing. But right then, I felt by no means inclined to do so. Dad threw something, I’m not sure what, at the rat and Mom and I started jumping and shrieking and slamming our brooms anywhere and everywhere, while Dad was trying to kill the rat with his shoe and the rat was climbing over our feet and the flashlight was being a strobe light. Finally I put down my broom and ran upstairs to bed. All I could hear from my room was: Smack! Smack! Smack! E-e-eek! Ew! Ew! Ew! with Caleb screaming in the background. Eventually Dad came upstairs with the dead culprit dangling by its tail to torment the girls. The rat was 8” long with the tail included. Now we have another “visitor” but we think it is only a mouse.

On February 9^th, we made a bunch of rice and went out to feed the homeless with some students from the Bible School. We went to Main Park and started. It was so pitiful! Some of the kids were literally crying for food. Passing out rice and walking, we ended up at a restaurant. From there we took a bus home.

I told you we had an interesting 3 weeks!

POETRY

Is There No One to Help?

H. R. Black